Lykathea Aflame “Elvenefris” Review
Obscene Productions (2000)
A jackhammer pounds apart a jagged strip of Czech pavement, unearthing fossilized bits of sun-starved petals and squashed stems.
Its handler, a burly lad, whose blinding name plate reads, “Cornhammer,”
His duties fulfilled, the mighty Cornhammer hands in his hard hat and drags his achy frame home, never again to be heard in public performing such backbreaking labor.
At the crack of dawn, a new crew arrives on the same work site, to begin mixing the concrete their manager hopes will restore the tired road.
Mithras “Behind The Shadows Lie Madness” Review
Candlelight Records (2007)
WWE Superstar, Sheamus O’Shaunessy, stands in Gorilla Position, one ear plugged into Mithras’ “To Fall from the Heavens,” the other left open, waiting to receive the proverbial green light from the show’s producer, so that The Celtic Warrior can step out of the shadows and emerge onto the stage.
His travel companion—and tonight’s match partner—Hornswoggle, shares the other end of an oily Apple earbud, as both men psych themselves up for their forthcoming fight against The Real Americans by air-drumming and air-guitaring to this British death metal duo’s unorthodox tag team of brutish blast beats and playful tapping melodies.
Strutting through the curtain, the pair stop at the entrance ramp’s apex to pound their chests and flex their pale muscles in-time with a flurry of impressive pyrotechnics, delighting all five red-haired fans in attendance, none of whom could conjugate a sentence well enough to notice that a prepositional phrase cannot impact subject-verb agreement.
Rude Owls 